Just Say Thanks

“Thank you, Cathy, I appreciate all that you have done for me,” she said. It was a beautiful afternoon after a full day at work. The birds were singing, the sun was coming through the windshield of the car while “Breezin” played soulfully on Spotify. A crumpled gum wrapper sat on the dashboard. My eyes lowered as my sunglasses hid my look of doubt, and I said, “It was nothing, my friend, that was all you.”

Try as I might, even in the best of scenarios, I could not say thank you. I was unable to acknowledge the years of heartfelt training and hours of practice that went into my craft with a simple thank you. I shrugged it off and passed it on because I did not want to appear to be arrogant. My twisted idea of humility was to not acknowledge my success, thinking that would be too much. My job was to acknowledge the other and dismiss myself. Has that ever happened to you? Too timid to acknowledge your own greatness, beauty, or wisdom in order to acknowledge it in others? Living “right size” meant lifting others without bringing any attention to myself. I felt that humility meant not acknowledging my contribution, value, or service level. It was both exhausting and disheartening. I felt inclined to bury myself in service while trying to stay invisible, and then I would wonder why I was not being rewarded, acknowledged, and yes, sometimes even compensated.

This was a painful way for me to go through life. One day I began to realize that a false sense of humility may have been history, but it could be changed in the present. Here’s what I started to do:
1. Notice Resistance: I began by first noticing my resistance to accepting a compliment. This meant becoming mindful of the immediate thoughts and feelings that arose whenever someone acknowledged me.
2. Let it Settle: Secondly, I sat with the compliment for a second and let the generosity of the statement settle in. This involved pushing past my initial discomfort and really listening to what was being said.
3. Acknowledge and Thank: Thirdly, I acknowledged the compliment and said “Thank You.” This step was crucial, as it involved not just hearing the compliment but actively accepting it without self-deprecation or disclaimers.

It took a while to stop diminishing the acknowledgments until eventually, I began to loosen the grip on my attempts to stay small in order to make others feel good. I see that my heartfelt receipt of kindness and praise (the same feelings that I want to give others) is exactly what the soul needs to age gracefully, share wholeheartedly, and live longer, better. When we embody our own greatness, beauty, and wisdom, we serve as an example for others to do the same.

Join the Journey to Self-Acceptance

If my story resonates with you, and you’re seeking to embrace your own greatness, I invite you to join my upcoming “Stand and Deliver” course. It’s designed to help you acknowledge your worth and stand confidently in your achievements. For those who are interested but would like to know more, I offer a complimentary get-acquainted call. Connect with me at cathy@cathysommerville.co, and let’s start this journey together. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.