Aware and Unafraid

I traveled to New Zealand in February 2020. Traveling was as easy as ever. There were more international travelers wearing masks, custom lines a little slower and New Zealand was now requiring an additional Visa to travel into the country. The process was a bit off, but nothing that would hinder the easy flow of travel, commerce, and goodwill in our beautiful world.

As time went on in February I would hear bits and pieces about China being shutdown. I remember thinking, wow only a communist government could have the power to shut down an entire country. My next thought was about how New Zealand’s trade with China was going to come to a stop up if they couldn’t receive New Zealand’s exports. I had no idea that this virus would move, quickly across Asia, Europe, and into America, shapeshifting and wreaking havoc as it unleashed itself on an unsuspecting world.

In the beginning, I wanted to give it my “all” for the good of “all”. But after two weeks, I stared to feel indignant and highly inconvenienced. I settled into confusion by Easter, and I was just sad until around Mother’s Day. Somewhere in mid-May, I surrendered to the whole new level of uncertainty that I was experiencing while simultaneously enjoying my good health, in a comfortable home, sheltered with people I love, while working at home and collecting a paycheck. I had nothing to fear, but everything to adjust to.

Today, June 2020; I look at the unfolding of events with awe and humility. Humbled by the sequence of events and grateful for the insights that seemed to have been brought to my attention. I did not see this coming, at all, not any of it. There doesn’t seem to be a prescribed course of action to take to make everything great again. There is no philosophy or face mask for the many incidents of disease, poverty, civil unrest and addictions that are occuring today while culminating into what is being called “Deaths of Despair.” The curve is flattened and the virus is being attacked and still, there is no end in sight for the events that have passed and are yet to come.

We are all going to have to show up in the days to follow, fully present and firmly grounded in the truth of who we are. Who we are in our isolation and who we are in connection with each another. We need to be sure that we all matter, and that we can slow down the runaway train of this world long enough, to take a breath and shift our attention to what is working and what we can create to take better care of each other.

I personally have more questions than answers, and there are times that my heart hurts for all the people who are so gravely affected at this time. It is times like these that I have learned that if I slow down, become both present and humble, that I am far more likely to shift from being afraid of what I don’t understand and become more aware of what can be possible. It is from the intersection of innocense and insight that we step forward and create something new.